Double standards… In My Head?

So both my sister and I want to be an author when we’re older… or now, whenever we can really.

Going along with this life goal of ours we both decided to enter a writing competition and so both wrote a short book (within 40,000 and 60,000 words) and sent them off.

I’m really happy that I managed to finish a book, even if it doesn’t go anywhere, but I have had a nagging thought after that which I think i’ve had before:

I feel like, because i’ve achieved something at the same time as my sister, it feels like less of an accomplishment.

Now, I know this doesn’t make any sense, but I’ve been thinking about it and I realised that I do think like this a lot. Like with exam grades for example, I feel like i’m only allowed to be happy with my grades if my sister is happy with them also. Either that, or my good grades feel less because my sister has got a higher mark than me, which also doesn’t make sense.

Though we have come up with a method to try to prevent this: We look at our grades seperately and, only when we’re both certain of how we feel about them, do we tell each other what we got.

I do hope that this fades when i’m older and I get to fully feel like my accomplishments are my own.

I do wonder sometimes, since i’ve only ever been a twin and not a sister, (well, technically I am that too, but you know what I mean) whether the issues that I have with my sister, are the same that normal (I don’t like that word in this case but it gets the point across) siblings have. As in, on the same level, or even if they have the problems at all.

If anyone potentially reading this has any response I’d really appreciate it. I like to learn more, about anything. I’m basically the cat that gets killed in every curiosity cautionary tale. ( I just mentally laughed at the word tale in that. Yep.)

Just another day in the life of a twin who really overthinks everything. Uh… You’re welcome?