‘Just’ write.

So I’ve been losing some motivation recently, partly because I’m still in a rut in life and partly because I’m just lacking in the inspiration department.

This is the reason why I haven’t been as strict about my ‘post every seven days or less’ rule and I’ve even been stuck in my story planning for my most recent novel.

I’ve just started a new part time job at a pub near my home and, as much as I do enjoy talking to the people there, I also get very stressed when dealing with real life people. I have to have a deep breath whenever I go over to take someone’s order or ask if they want another drink.

I’m trying to focus on the goal from this, which is experience and money towards my savings… And maybe a ps4. But it can be tough sometimes, especially when I’m looking at a shift that’s at least seven hours long to one in the morning, with not much of a break. But I’ll get used to it.

Eventually.

But anyway, the point of this post was writing. This came up when talking to my mum and she said that ‘if you really loved writing you’d be doing it all the time. Why haven’t you just written a bunch of short stories and sent them off?’

Because I am a novel writer. At least for now. And learning another writing type is very hard. I’d need to read a lot of that type of story and study how to structure it, because it’s very different from regular novels.

It’s not really a ‘just’ sort of thing.

I’ve also wanted to write some articles for magazines and try to get them freelance published. But there’s a similar issue in that I need a good idea for that and I need to work on it. A lot.

This connects with the general writer advice that you aren’t a real writer unless you write all the time. Make time! They say.

You know I probably could, but my mind also niggles at me that I might as well not bother as I’m not good enough, and so then it all goes out the window.

Confidence is key. Again. Ugh. Why is it always confidence?

It will come with time. But I’m also very impatient. Contradictions abound!

So the summary of this is basically:
– work is stressful, but money is nice.
– I want to write, but I can’t make myself.
– confidence helps in all corners of life.

You’re welcome internet.

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